This Popular Card Game Taught Me Why Modern Capitalism Is so Incredibly Screwed Up

And why the rules need to be changed.

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I’m sure you’ve played this card game before. Some call it President, others call it Scum, Janitor, or even my personal favorite, Asshole. It’s a simple game that many of us learn as children.

You take a full deck of cards and distribute them evenly to 4 or more players. You then follow the rules to capture cards each round, with the ultimate goal of emptying your entire hand before anyone else.

Rules of Engagement

The crux of this game is the rankings. After each round is completed, players are assigned a position based on the order in which they placed.

Let’s say you have 5 players as an example. The first person to finish the round would be named President, the second named Vice President, etc.

It looks like this:

1. President
2. Vice President
3. Regular/Citizen #1, 2, 3, 4, 5, etc
4. Vice-Ass
5. Asshole

When the next round’s cards are dealt, the Asshole must give the President his 2 best cards. The President must give the Asshole any 2 cards of his choice in…